"It is a myth to believe that 'If I only had a little more - - or a lot more! -- money than I'd be happy. Unless you have a balanced "relationship" to money, having a little more money just might make you more unbalanced and miserable. Spenders will overspend more wildly, avoiders feel more anxious, money monks more conflicted, hoarders will save more compulsively. So the goal is to move toward money harmony, not merely to amass more money."  Olivia Mellan

From Mark Zaifman's Blog

www.spiritusfinancial.com

"When it comes to managing your personal finances, spending, particularly overspending is one of the most challenging aspects of living within your means. It’s not that you don’t have good intentions, because most people really do want to stay on a spending plan, it’s more complex than that. Spending money causes an emotional rush in our bodies. It’s a natural high. It’s short term pleasure for what could turn out to be long term debt. It’s the nexus between money and your emotional intelligence (EQ) that often creates the problem of overspending.

Create a speed bump on the road to spending

Each time you wake up and go to work, you’re making a conscious decision to trade your precious life energy, the limited time you have on this planet; and trade that time for money. That’s a powerful decision with huge impacts on your lifestyle. Are you receiving the highest amount of compensation possible for the exchange of your precious life energy?

Now take it one step further. You’re hearing about the new 3D TV’s that are about to hit the consumer outlets later this year. Let’s say these new TV’s are going to sell for $4,200 each. Gulp! is your first reaction. Second reaction is how cool it would be to have that TV to watch movies on. Then you think about the cost. Well, you say to yourself, I just received that 1.99% 6 month interest offer on my credit card, I’ll put it on my card and pay that sucker off in 6 months-no doubt about it. Next comes the purchase and the amazing “sugar high” you feel throughout your entire body when you sign on the dotted line. And the finale is the hangover that occurs later when buyer’s remorse kicks in and you wonder why you just spent that kind of money on a consumer item.

Here are some suggestions on creating a speed bump to at least slow down the momentum on your potential road to purchasing an item. First, make sure you avoid impulse purchases. These are usually emotionally driven and tend to be the reason most people suffer buyer’s remorse. Stop yourself before making the purchase, and give yourself a cooling off period for at least 24-48 hours. If, after that time, your purchase still feels right, at least you’ve given yourself time to really think it through.

Second suggestion is to calculate how many hours of work it will take to make this purchase. Don’t use your gross hourly rate, instead be honest and use your net hourly wage, taking out taxes, cost of commuting, clothes, etc. Then say to yourself, is it worth trading x amount of hours of my life energy for this purchase? This exercise has usually stopped me dead in my tracks when I’ve been tempted to exceed my spending plan.

Keeping yourself honest

Making a new year’s resolution to stop overspending or even creating a “budget” are all good things on the road to living within your means. But even with the best intentions, it’s harder than most people think. The only true solution to the problem of overspending is to develop the discipline to stay within a  spending plan. Otherwise, consumption quite naturally becomes excessive, and the rude awakening arrives with the monthly statement.

To guard against overspending, I recommend creating and maintaining a credit card expense journal, which is similar to the check stubs in a checking account. Keep a weekly running total of credit card expenses and deduct the end-of-week total from your checking account balance. Then when your credit card bill arrives, you have already deducted the expenses out of your checking account and you’re able to pay your balance in full that month. If you’re unable to pay the full balance off each month, that’s ok short-term, but realize that month you borrowed money and you didn’t live within your means. If this occurs for more than 3 months, you have a trend that needs to be looked at closely.

Increase your money consciousness

Awareness into your relationship with money is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give to yourself. Does it take courage to look inside and understand what’s causing the fear, anxiety, overspending, under saving, under earning, conflicts with your spouse/partner, etc-you bet it does. Yet at the end of the day, what most of us truly want, is not the house up on the hill, or the latest sports car or other material possessions, and yes, many of us desire these items, but at our core, what I would argue we’re all really in search of is peace of mind.

It’s the feeling that your financial house is in order and you feel at peace with your money and your life, you feel secure about your future. And security in regards to your finances is a big thing. When you feel out of sorts with your money, and especially about your financial security, you’re causing yourself undue stress, which can ultimately lead to illness and even disease. Nothing can be more important than your health.

If money has often caused you stress and anxiety, tell yourself this year will be different. Become fearless. Summon the courage and look inside at what’s causing you to feel the way you do. Monitor your thoughts carefully. Remember, as you think, so shall you be.

As you embark on this journey of self-discovery, know that what’s waiting for you on the other side is financial freedom. This feeling of liberation is worth its weight in gold."

"Instead of a family outing revolving around a shop or an eatery we're now likely to take a walk along the river.  We've seen we can subsist on much less." 

Molly Nee

"When a family member wants to give our children a gift, we suggest they buy them dance or swim lessons.  We also request gift cards to such places as pottery-making stores or Build-A-Bear Workshop, which we can use any time of the year.  Our children do receive some regular presents for holidays and birthdays, but getting a few lesssons and gift cards means they aren't overwhelmed with stuff at the holidays.  Plus, they get to reap the benefits all year long."  Jessica Brown (from an article in Family Fun Magazine)

"One of our favorite outings is to the zoo, but for our family of eight, it's cost-prohibitive.  That's why when Christmastime comes around, and relatives ask us what to get the kids, we ask for annual passes to the zoo.  For several years, two uncles have in together to get us a deluxe pass.  It saves us a lot of money, and, for the uncles, buying just one big present is much cheaper and less stressful than buying for six nieces and nephews!" Debbe Carson (From an article in Family Fun Magazine)

It's a hunt. It's therapy. It's a way of life. But has it gotten out of control? Aimee Lee Ball investigates why we spend the way we do.

Alas, our romance with shopping seems to be coming to an end—or at least it's up for careful reevaluation. According to research from Stanford University, more than one in 20 adults are compulsive shoppers, purchasing things they don't need, use, or even want. That's because shopping, once devoted to procuring necessities, has come to fill multiple emotional needs—it's entertainment, a bonding activity, a sport, a form of self-expression, and, quite often, a means of solace. "These days what you buy is a way to connect to others and showcase your personality and values," says Kit Yarrow, PhD, professor of psychology and marketing at Golden Gate University in San Francisco. So what happens now when more than five million people have lost their jobs since December 2007, and many of us are trying to curb our enthusiasm? Ironically, "when people feel economically insecure, they tend to reassure themselves by shopping," says George Loewenstein, PhD, professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. The thinking is: "If I were economically secure, I would go shopping, so if I'm shopping, I must be economically secure." And that's just one thing to be aware of as you head for the mall. Here are a few others:  

For the full article click here

"Frugality means we are to enjoy what we have.  If you have ten dresses but still feel you have nothing to wear, you are probably a spendthrift.  But if you have ten dresses and have enjoyed wearing all of them for years, you are frugal.  Waste lies not in the number of possessions but in the failure to enjoy them.  Your success at being frugal is measured not by your penny-pinching but by your degree of enjoyment of the material world."

From Your Money or Your Life by Robin & Dominguez

"Clutter is anything that is excess--for you.  It's whatever you have that doesn't serve you, yet takes up space in your world.  To let go of clutter, then, is not deprivation; it's lightening up and opening up space for something new to happen." 

From Your Money or Your Life by Robin & Dominguez

"Our economy depends on growth to survive--and many of us have absorbed that growth ethic into our own aspirations for our lives. If we have one car, we need two. If we have one pair of pants, we need two; if we have two, we need three. We ignore intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth, having gotten stuck trying to continue to grow physically by adding more and more possessions."

From Your Money or Your Life by Robin & Dominguez

Frugality is not a quaint pastime from the pre-credit card era, but it is something of a lost art for some people.

Though frugal living can conjure an image of a Dickensian miser grimly squeezing every penny for all it’s worth, it doesn't have to be like that.

"Being frugal to me is about valuing your life energy," says Mark Zaifman, owner of Spiritus Financial Planning in Windsor, Calif., and a contributor to an updated version of "Your Money or Your Life."

A central tenet of the book is that most people must expend their energy to make money during their finite time on earth. Frivolous purchases waste that time and energy.

That concept is a lynchpin in the voluntary simplicity movement.

For the full article and steps (I personally love Step 4: Clean House) Click Here